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Silicone and Sluts

Written by Kid Bacardi

          So I had fuckin drill this weekend and had to go back to Rockford. But on Thursday night before I left, I got rocked. We had the normal jungle juice party to start the night off right. I had planed on taking it easy but you know how that goes. 6 or 7 glasses later and i was well on my way to drunk. Sandie Hatchet Wound showed up and "wanted to hang out after the bar". Justin, the virgin, was making out with Down Syndrome Megan all night and everyone was clownin on him. At some point in time he left with her and ended up fucking her in the bushes behind Pulium. I decided to head to the bar around 11:30 and Sandie came with me. We kicked around the idea of finding another girl to come home with us and I was all for it. The bar was a haze and everyone was fucked up. It was As the night went on everyone just got sloppier and sloppier. When the bar finally closed I could barely walk home. Me and Sandie stumbled back to my place and thats about all I can remember. I don't know the details, but I'm guessing we didn't go right to sleep.
          I woke up drunk in the morning and had to go to work. I knew it was gonna be a long day cuz I had to drive home after work. I finally got to Rockford and it was snowing bad as fuck. I decided to be an alcoholic and just drink by myself. Fuck, I had drill in the morning anyway.
          Drill sucked on Saturday, but we did take a Hummer out off roading in the snow. Me and a bunch of my boys from the unit decided that we need to go out drinking after drill so we reserved two rooms at the Ramada and headed over there to start drinking around 6:00. By 9:30 we were all drunk and decided that we should head to a bar. We went over to Oscar's and started drinking 24 oz. beers. I almost lost my mind on the waitress because that didn't have budweiser on tap. I asked her if we were still in America and she kinda got pissed. They only had Bud Lite and Miller Lite so I told her to bring me one or the other and that i was too wasted to really care. There was a bachelorete party going down and they had the bride to be on the dance floor to get lap dances. We decided that we would tell the DJ that one of our boys was going to Iraq and he got the same treatement. As everything rolled onwe ended up meeting these two girls, one of which had just gotten fake tits. She let us all catch a feel and I talked her into coming back to the hotel with us. Her and her friend started making out so I felt like I needed to get in the mix. They had to go see some other girls at Elixar and wanted me to go with them. I decided what the hell and got them to pay my cover and buy me beer for the rest of the night. So we were chillin at this club dancing and shit and all my boys showed up. They had this barber chair there that reclined and they would give you shots in it then slam you foward out of the chair. It was tight as fuck so I had to test it out. I have no idea what shot I had but it did the trick. So there I was with the silicone girl and her friend all over me.Silicone Slut We went up the stairs to the cage over the bar and started dancing up there. These bitches were freaky as fuck and kept kissing each other and me and I was playing with the fake tits like it was my job. The next thing I knew the fake titie bitch started giving me head and I'm just standing there looking down at a crowd of people. My boys are all looking up at me from the dance floor and laughing their asses off. So there I was with my dick in this bitches mouth in front of the whole club. Out of nowhere, the bouncer comes up behind me and tapps me on the shoulder. He told me that I had to leave and I wasn't even mad at him. I just rolled out with a big ass smile on my face. When I got outside I had to wait for everyone else, but they were quick. The two bitches came out too and we headed back to the hotel. When we got there Silicone Slut had lost her phone so she wanted to go back to the club. I decided that I wasn't waiting for her so I called up another girl and headed over to my boy Joe's house. It was about three by the time I got there and he was partying with his dad, Swede, and his dad's boys. There were some randome whores that Joe works with and then my pussy showed up. The sluts that worked with Joe didn't like the girl that came to fuck me so they were all talking shit. I broke a bitch down verbally as I do so well and they all took off. It was about 5 by then so I bashed and then passed out. I woke up the next morning and broke out back to Carbondale. I guess that was one of the best nights that I have ever had in Rockford. I just wish more bitches were down to suck a dick in public.
P.S. Congrats to Justin for dropping the Vcard.

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