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Half Ass Mardi Gras St Louis Style

Written by Kid Bacardi

Nice nnipple rings! I don't know the details but this weekend was another drunken train wreck. Thursday I had to collect money and set the party up cuz everyone else had dance practice for the variety show. I got most of the cash that I needed so me, Ryan, and Peterson decide to kill a bottle of vodka while we wait for people to bring me the rest of the money. We finally go to get the booze around 9 and instead of the normal 2 gem clear to 10 gallons of juice, I decide we are gonna do 2 to 6. We mix up the juice and its no stronger tasting than usual. People started showing up and everyone was pounding the juice. Everyone expected the same mix as usual, but the booze quickly caught up with them. Everyone was extra fucked up and I dipped out when the juice was gone at about 11:30. GII was a drunken mess and the real details have been mostly lost due to the amount of booze that everyone consumed. All I know is I woke up the next morning to go to work drunk as usual.
          Friday after work I headed over to the house. There were some people over there boozing so I went to grab a few Mickey's 40's and started boozing. Some of the pledges came by, and around 9 we headed over to Tony's. It was a cock fest over there so we decided to head to Carboz because DJ Markski was in town. We had VIP passes that were suposed to get us better drink specials. That didn't pan out right but we did get free CDs and shit. We started boozing hard and I was already wasted after a few martinis. Everything got real hazy and i know i dropped an entire beer as soon as I got it. I ran into Sandie and we decided to go to GII. Markski's bitch ass hadn't even been on yet but he's a tool anyway. We decided to drop her car off at her house and the next thing I knew it was 10 saturday morning. I guess there was a hell of an after hours at the house. Markski brought a bunch of Euro trash fuckers over and Peters boot them out. They just sat outside in the car and waited for Markski. I guess his bitch ass finally left with some slut.
Jeremy's three way kiss bitches           Saturday we decided to go St. Louis for their make shift Mardi Gras. Joe was down there already and I was gonna meet up with him. Me, Ryan, Jesse, Frank, and Paul headed out around 1:30 and got there around 3:30. We started boozing right away and after about an hour Ryan disappeared. We ended up in some bar talking to some crazy fuck that had a live round in is hat. He was telling us that he was an explosive engineer and told us why the Oklahoma City bombing went wrong. We decided to dip out on this crazy fuck and head to take a piss. After that we just kept walking around looking for a group of sluts. We finally found Ryan and then I had to go find Joe because he was wasted and thought he was in Florida. While I was looking for Joe, they all went to the Casino. Me and Joe headed over there to meet up with them. When we finaly got there Joe dropped his ID which instantly made him to drunk to gamble. I started raging at the security gaurd and telling him that he better be happy with 20 thousand a year for the rest of his life. They tell me that they are gonna call the cops on me so me and Joe dip. Jesse and Frank come and meet up with us and then we go look for a club. I see a hot ass cop and ask her were the craziest bar is. She points us over to this place Flap Those Wingscalled the Buca, or some shit like that. I was kinda tight but got old quick. We decided that GII would be just as fun so we pick up Ryan and Paul and head home drunk as fuck. We made Joe come back to Carbondale with us. On the way back Paul drove and decided to top Jesse's car off. I guess he hit 115 but I was passed out. We got to the house at 12 and headed to the bar. We were all out of control and Dave decided that he was having after hours. I kept boozing hard and then pounded about a quater of a 2 liter of rum and coke. We all ended up passing out at Dave's around 4 or so. By the way, I hoped everyone enjoyed watching the Patriots flap their wings on Sunday. McNabb is a fucking choke artist. Good luck next year T.O., you might wanna try another team.

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