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Halloween and Shit

Written by Kid Bacardi

          So the last few weeks have been a drunkin haze. Big change right. There has been a lot going on and not much time to do it in. Between Thursday night Jungle Juice parties and random encounters with the bar, 490 out of the last 504 hours of my life I have been fuck up. There was a sweet party at GII three weeks ago, that Brad and Munga threw. They had 30 kegs of Miller Lite and it was penny pitchers. Can’t get much better than that right? Oh but it did. Schag had some bitches down to visit and they were super slutty. This one bitch was walking around with some bikini top lookin thing on and here fake tities were out for everyone to see. As the night raged on and we all got fucked up her nipples kept randomly popping out. We ended up going back to Schag’s for afterhours and Dylan fumbled the ball and fucked up any chance of the divide and conquer. Since there was no way that these bitches would split up I decided to head home. On that note, why do girls go to other schools and do their best to cock block the friends that they came with? Unless they all hook up the fat one always has to cry that, just like at home, nobody wants to fuck her and all the other bitches feel bad and back out. That’s fuckin bullshit. If you haven’t noticed yet, the fat bitch only gets fucked when Peterson is around or everyone is to wasted to notice the 300 pounds surrounding her gash.
          The next day we all headed up to U of I for a night of pure drunkin mayham. We left town around 4:30 with3 car loads and 5 or 6 30 packs of Keystone. We boozed all the way up and were all half in the bag by the time we got there. When we rolled up we immediately got two handles of Smirinoff and a handle of So Co. Everyone mixed drinks but I just decided that swigs from the bottle was the only way to go. The Beer Pong table got broken out and I was starting to get all fucked up. At some point in time me and Danny decided that it was bar time but didn’t knoiw where they were so we started wandering around U of I. We found the strip in little time by just following the direction that it seem the most people were moving in. As we stood in line for the bar, one of my boys from Rockford showed up. I really don’t have any thoughts after that but I do know that they don’t let you run taps on a credit card at U of I. The next thing I knew, I was back at the house passed out on a couch. It was 3 in the morning and I wanted to go home, so I called up Jamie and three hours later she was there to get me and take me home.
          This last weekend was Halloween and the strip was once again closed. Thursday night we had a Jungle Juice party and got destroyed. We all decided that it would be a good idea to start bonging Jungle Juice. Lets just say everclear is a killer. After about 6 glasses and three or four bongs I was fucked. I headed down to the bar and clocked in all of about 15 minutes. It was still early but I was no longer functioning so I stumbled home and passed out.
          Friday I felt lost all day long. I walked down to GII after class as usual, but the bar was closed due to the town not being able to handle students on Halloween weekend. So with no bar to waste away at I had to jump to an alternative. I grabbed some beer and started to get to the task at hand. As the afternoon wasted away it seemed as if nobody knew what to do without the strip open. I decided to head over to Heather’s to smoke and then we went to see “Saw”. I was high as fuck and half drunk and that was one of the sweetest movies that I have ever seen. After the movie I went straight back to drinking. With still no idea as to what was gonna happen for the night. Around 11 I finally decided that I need to go to a bar and any bar. We decided that Carboz would be a good choice due to the Martini Bar so we rolled out. Nothing too exciting went down at the bar and we basically just tried to find after hours. We decided to head back to Heather’s place to keep boozin. Me and Peters picked up a bottle of Ciclone and started going to town on it. Pumkins got smashed and we wandered over to Schag’s place. That wasn’t poppin either so we smashed some more shit and headed home.
          Saturday was the unofficial Halloween. Me and Paul decided to get stoned and go look for costumes. We hit up everywhere in Carbondale with no luck. We couldn’t give up that easily so we headed to Marion. Still no dice, but we picked up a lead. Sircher told us about some party shop in Energy so we headed out. We passed this fuckin place twice before we found it, but when we did it was a jack pot. They had a shit ton of costumes. Paul decided to be a Mexican and I found a sweet black wig and a top hat, all that is need to transform into Slash. Once we got home we had wasted half the day so we started drinking. By 8 I had downed half a bottle of Ciclone and headed to grab a bottle of Jack to complete my costume. Once I got that it was on. I looked exactly like Slash. We headed over to Derek’s place around 9 and Matty decided that his costume would be my Rodie/Body Guard. Everyone was wasted soon and the party raged on. There were a few parents hanging out because it was parents weekend. My boy James from Rockford called and I went to meet up with him. We partied with his sister and mom for a minute and then headed back to Derek’s. Soon my Jack was ¾ done and I was slammed. I started hitting on this girls mom right in front of her daughter and then got her to take a shot with me. At that point in time I polished off the bottle and me and James head to the bar. Carboz had a line so we went to Pinch. Green drangons were $2.50 so once again it was on. Pinch turned into a mess and everyone kept telling me how sweet I was for being Slash, like I didn’t already know. I ran into Lindsey and then we all head to Carboz. I was 5 minutes late for the costume contest so I was pissed. I was double fisting whiskey and coke and out of nowhere Axle showed up. I had no idea who this kid was but he bought me a drink for having such a sweet costume so that was cool. Lindsey was having difficulties standing up so me and James decided to drag her back to Derek’s so she could pass out. We got some girl to take care of her at the party and we kept going balls to the walls. The mom from before was still there and I started telling her to divorce her husband because I was much younger and could do more for her. The word on the street is I ended up making out with her but I don’t remember. It wouldn’t be the first time I did something that I didn’t remember. Finally around 4 we headed home and I passed out like a ton of bricks. I figure I consumed enough booze to fill two and a half fifths. All in a night of work. Oh, by the way, I don’t know the details but I was fucked up out of my mind.

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