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The Green Fairy


Written by Kid Bacardi

          All week I boozed. For some reason I can’t help but go out. Tuesday I got all fucked up at the softball game. I pounded a pint of SoCo Hundo and then went to the bar. I ended up going skiing half way through the night and then back to the bar. I don’t really know the details but I ended up going Pamela
Andersonto sleep at 5:00 and was at work at 7:00. Wednesday I had pool league and thank god it was the last night. We beat up on the team we played and then taking off to go to Callahan’s. Tony was playing there so we decided to check it out. I started drinking Guinness and I gave the waitress my credit card. She told me that I needed to put atleast $10 on my tab. I assured her that there wouldn’t be a problem. We chilled there for a while and then Stephanie and I headed over to Pinch. There were a bunch of Sig Kapps there but they all left early. I ended up standing outside the bar by myself waiting for a ride. I decided that I wasn’t done drinking and bought a half pint of Bacardi to pound while I waited. My ride showed up and home I want. Thursday was more of the same. We had inititiation and I pounded a Pint of Bacardi while that went on. I was starting to buzz alittle, but the booze didn’t show up right away. About a half hour later the booze finally showed and I was back at it. The party slowly started as I was quickly getting fuck up. I ended up pulling some tubes and then I tried to instigate a fight between two sororities. The next thing I knew it was Friday morning and I had to go to work.
          After work I decided that today was the day to rock the Absinth and ended up getting super rocked. The lady that sent me the bottle told me that I was supposed to drink 3 glasses in a half hour. This didn’t seem like too much of a problem untill I realized that this shit was 140 proof, ans the bottle said “For Experts Only” on it. There was all kinds of weed and shit floating in the bottle and I wasn’t sure if I needed to drink the weed too. I said fuck it and rolled the dice. I poured my first glass and took a sip. The shit was nasty as fuck. I tasted like a combination between black licorish and pine cones When mixed with the burn of the booze it caused me to almost instantly want to puke. I managed to hold it down and powered thorugh the first glass. I poured a second and started drinking on that. After a few more sips I couldn’t taste it anymore and I could tell I was going to be really fucked up. I finished the second cup and poured a third. By this time I was wasted, this shit packed a hell of a punch. I was starting to feel one hell of a body buzz and I knew that I was more that just drunk. I deffinately felt like I was floating. As I finished up the third cup, the first two really grabbed me by the nuts and I passed out for a while. I guess I was out cold because some of my boys told me that they tried to wake me up and I wouldn’t move. One of them opened up my eyelids and my eyes were rolled into the back of my head.. They finally got me up and I was fucked. I don’t really know if I ever saw any hallusinations, but I do know that this was like no drunk that I had ever experienced. Everything seemed to float around me. I felt like I was completely under control, but at the same time it was chaotic. The next thing I knew, we were at the bar. I was just walking around with no direction and no intention of hanging out with anyone. There was deffinately no thought of just sitting somewhere, I had to keep moving. When the bar closed I head back to the house for afterhours, but I don’t remember if it happened or not. I ended up waking up in my bed at about 10 still fucked up. I wasn’t really drunk but I deffinately wasn’t sober. I had to drive to Memphis, so I tried to sober up a little with no results. We finnally left around 1 and I finally felt sober at about 3:15. Next stop Memphis.


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