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Preparing for FinalsWritten by Kid Bacardi So, this last week I was winding up all my bullshit for classes. I had a mad easy week with a presentation on Monday and a test on Tuesday and Thursday. It pretty much goes without saying that I was drunk as fuck in between these events. For some reason, it was hard to get people to come out with me though. They kept talking about “FINALS”. I’m not really sure what those are or why people were so hung up on them, so I just managed to find the few people who didn’t seem to know what they were either and get shit rocked. By the time Thursday rolled around, we decided that we needed a keg, after all, it was Cinco De Mayo. We had planned on holding off till 9 or 9:30, but we got anxious and ended up boozing by 7:30. People started showing up about 8 or so and by 9 we were all shit faced. A couple girls puked, and one girl asked Ryan if people really lived in our house. I guess we hadn’t cleaned up enough. The girls all went to the bar at about 10 but we all felt an obligation to finish the keg before anything else happened. About another hour passed and the keg was cashed. We all headed over to Pinch to keep drinking. Some company was giving out free shit and I managed to trade some girl  a smoke for a visor. Coronas were on special and they started going down like water. I was already tanked and the Corona was starting to grab me by the throat. I don’t know why or how I got home, I just remember looking at my clock and wondering why I was home before 1.Friday morning I woke up and felt like hell. I went to work all day and when I got off headed to the SIU baseball game. There were a shit ton of people there getting wasted and ripping beer bongs. The four cases that we had were gone in no time and then we were supposed to go to some community service shit. As we were leaving, we caught wind of a free keg of Bud Select. The keg quickly turned into my community service event and I started pounding. After a while that started to wrap up and the Sig Kapps decided to go buy food to grill at our house. We rolled over there and kept the drinking going. They started to head home to change and we started to push little John down the street in front of the house in a desk chair. He ate shit a few times and we all laughed our asses off. Some of the girls started to show back up and Dave called to tell us that he had a keg. We rolled over there and pour on more booze. I was fucking wasted already and don’t really know what all went down. At some point in time I headed to GII and kept boozing there. The next thing I knew, it was Saturday morning and there was a chain saw lying on the floor outside of my room. I later found out that Ryan had stolen a chain saw and had gone to work on most of our furniture. He had also came into my room with the thing blazing trying to wake me up but I didn’t even flinch. Saturday, after sidestepping the chain saw, I started calling people to go to the spillway. After about an hour and a half we had a decent crew and headed out around 1. When we got out there it was fuckin packed. It didn’t take us long to get right back to where we were the night before. The water was cold as fuck, so I mostly kept my ass on the shore. I dove in once and ended up fuckin breaking my flip flopps, so for the rest of the day I was barefoot. At some point in time I was half asleep and Ginger came up to me with a beer in her hand and told me to open my mouth. I went with it and her aim fucking sucked. I had beer all over myself but the water was way to fucking cold for me to jump in again so I just passed the fuck back out. The beer ran low and then was gone so we headed out. I 
got dropped off at my place and then head to the mall with Paul to buy new flip flopps. When we got back, He grabbed a 12er of Bud and I broke out the Absinth. Ryan showed back up and wanted to play with the chain saw again. The next thing I know, he took out the TV. I figured since it was already fucked I would take a driver to the screen. After the destruction, I decided that I should hide the saw. As we started pounding the Absinth I knew it was all over. I guess I passed out on the couch outside and everyone just left me there. At some point in time I rolled back into the house and passed out till about 11. I finally woke up and headed to GII. Nobody was there so I started making calls, remembering something about a keg. Neil had gotten a keg, so off I was. When I got there, nobody could believe that I was still drinking. I guess I did a bunch of extra drunk things, including telling Peterson that I could make his back feel better and then drop kicking him. After that I guess I went to Pinch, but don’t know who I went over there with. Gina told me that I was grabbing her arm and punching people with it. I vaguely remember snap shots of being at Pinch, but no real details stand out. I ended up back at Neil’s after the bar and then made Jeremy drive me home. When I woke up the next morning I felt like I had gotten my ass beat all night long. Every part of my body ached. Oh well, somebody told me that there are more finals this week. I think I have one on Friday. For anyone not being a pussy, you’ll be able to find me at the bar all week long. If I don’t know what is on the test now I will never know it. I think I need to have someone start following me around to remind me of what the fuck I do.
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