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Graduation


Written by Kid Bacardi

          Woke up early to go see Ryan graduate, but I was still drunk. As we sat through the ceremony, we remembered that Stadl was getting a keg. After Ryan walked, Paul and I called up Stadl to find out what the status of the keg was. He said Hefeweizenhe would call us with the details because he needed my tapper and a shell. We headed to get some food and then went to the house to start drinking. We dicked around at the house all afternoon and decided that we were gonna start a chop shop. At about 3:30 Stadl called and we went to get the keg. Scott, Paul, and I headed to Stadl’s to start drinking with him and Neil. We hung out there for a while and pounded down beers. Neil filed me in on a good story about Stadl. The night before, Stadl was all wasted and out of nowhere he started yelling, “I Pound Dick.” After that he passed out and Jeremy and Derek put a bag of ice on his back. We he woke up he yelled, “I’m gonna grab your dicks……….and chop them off with a sword.” All in all I guess he was after some cock that night. Anyway, after a while we decided to head over to Shields’s graduation party. His parents had rented out Copper and had gotten everone 4 drink tickets redeemable for beers. We all started pounding and some how I ended up with 8 tickets. Ryan, Matt, and Ryan’s parents showed up and we started bullshitting with them. By this time everyone was getting kinda fucked up and we found out that Pinch doesn’t start charging cover till 9. Stephanie ened up meeting up with us at Copper and at about 8:45 we headed over to Pinch. Once I got in (dodging the cover) I headed to the ATM. For some reason the shit was fucked up and wouldn’t give me any cash. As I was heading back outside some fuckhead bouncer asked to see my stamp. I didn’t have one so he wanted to charge me 5 bones to get into the bar that I was already in. I told him that I had been there for hours and he still said that I had to pay. After arguing with him for a few minutes I said fuck it and gave the meathead 5 bones. I then walk to another ATM. This shit wouldn’t tell me how much cash that I had either, so I decided that I needed to call the bank. I found out that I had $350 in my acount. So I went back in to grab some cash and after all that I was back to drinking. Green Dragons were only $2.50 so it was fuckin on. James showed up a short time later and we were all getting fuck up. At some point the 17th Floor started playing, they definitally were not worth $5 to see. Jesse showed up and bought me a good ass beer called Hefeweizen. After I pounded that down, it was back to Green Dragons. At some point in time, one of Carbondales skankiest showed up and started talking to us. I can’t stand this bitch, I don’t even want to share my air with her. We finally decided that we needed to go to GII, but didn’t have a rde over there. I decided that I would drive Stephanie’s Jeep to GII. It’s a stick and I don’t drive stick well sober, but I was gonna give it a whirl. I got in and couldn’t even read the stick to see what gear was what. That ended that idea, so I called Simon and he came to get us. When we got into GII I found out that when Matt got there he had told one of the bartenders that he was gonna run a tab for all of us and not pay it. There wasn’t a problem with that, so it was on again. I was already so wasted that I really didn’t need anything else to drink, but drink I did. I guess I closed the bar so we headed home to pass out.


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