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Getting Blitzed

Written by Kid Bacardi

          After regaining control of my body, I went to work Friday and didn’t do shit. After work, we all met up and started boozing. We decided that we were gonna get a keg, but the plans were slow moving. Brian and I decided that this was no time to stall and went to grab a bottle of Bacardi Limon. We started mixing drinks and playing bags while everyone else just waited around for the keg to develop. Around 8 we went to get the keg, and by 8:30 Brian and I had finished the bottle of rum and had switched to the keg. A shit ton of people started showing up and we started moving furniture out into the parking lot. James and I were killing people in bags but then took a break because it was just too fucking easy. Cheerleader showed up and brought his shock lighter with him. We started talking people into lighting their smokes with it and shocked the fuck out of them. Layer That’s How We Roll showed up, he had come down on the train and was ready to mix. We inside to smoke and got a little faded. When we got back outside the mix was going strong. Some rolls showed up so a bunch of us decided to partake. By about 10:30 or so we headed to the bar and kept on partying. Green Dragons were the drink of the night, not that I needed to keep drinking. After being at the bar for a while I started to roll. I was drunk as fuck though so it really started to fuck with me. I was pounding back Green Dragons hard core now and it was about 12:30 or so. I ran into some girl I know and sat at the bar to talk to her. I guess I was more fucked up than I thought because one minute I was sitting upright in the bar stool, and the next thing I knew I was laid out on the floor. Apparently I had started leaning and then fell right off the bar stool. I dragged myself off the floor and said, “Fuck this bar,” and went home. The next thing I know, it was Saturday morning and I was trying to figure out how I ended up in bed. After clearing my head for an hour or so, we all decided that we needed to go out to the spillway. A bunch of us headed out there and we were soon back to the drunk level that we all function at so well. After a few hours at the spillway, we cashed out all the beer so it was time to head back to The Creek. We grabbed more beer and food, and grilled out while we played bags. Since we had all gotten so fucked up all day, we were all really mellow while pre-drinking, mostly just maintaining where we had gotten at the spillway. Around 11:30, we headed out to Pinch. Green Dragons were again on the menu, so we got to fuckin work. It seamed like every time I was about to finish a drink two more showed up in their place. Some band was playing and some bitch was selling CDs and shit. She had all kinds of piercings and tattoos, so Simon and I decided to go fuck with her. We signed up for there e-mail list with fake names and started talking to her. The next thing I knew this bitch was showing Simon her tattoo that went all the way around her body. The funny thing was, she had a dress on and just lifted it up to show him. I did a double take cuz I thought I was that wasted, but sure enough, her box was about hangin out. As I turn around to go find Brian, he finds me. He grabs me and drags me over to this crazy townie bitch with a braided mullet. Now this called for a picture, and we weren’t going to be shy about it. We grabbed this bitch and told her that she was taking a picture with us. Turns out, she had a trashy ass niece that was wearing a bikini top and pants with her thong hanging out. We headed back to The Creek for after hours, and on my way out of the bar I was yelling about eating drugs. For some reason all the trashy people in Carbondale were hanging out at The Creek. Nothing worth while was going on so I just chilled in my place boozing. I guess I passed out and two bitches walked in and started fucking with me. Simon and Schag stopped them before they started to take my shit off and kicked them the fuck out. Oh well, same shit different day.

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