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They Fightin' in the Club


Written by Kid Bacardi

          Before I get into the drunken mix that was Saturday night, I want to take a second to let everyone know about a contest that we are gonna be starting. Each month, we will be holding a contest where the winner will receive a free College Drunk Fest t-shirt. This month, we want to see your best drunken stories. We want to know just how fucked up everyones else gets. Send you fucked up stories to You can submit your stories here and at the end of the month we will pick a winner.
          All day Saturday I was stuck at Fort McCoy, WI trying to drop off some fucking vehicles. This ass clown that was supposed to meet us there decided that he was gonna take his time and was 3 hours away when we got there. Brawlin’As we sat around doing nothing I was just getting more and more pissed off and knew that when I got home it was fucking on. We finally pulled back into the Reserve Unit at about 8, and by 9 there were 5 of us drinking on my dad’s back porch. I downed 4 in a half hour and knew it was gonna be a rough night. More people started showing up and we were all just bullshitting and getting wasted. One by one we started getting cleaned up and then decided to take shots of whiskey before going out. After a few rounds of shots, we were all shit faced. We jumped in the car and headed to the 10th Inning. It was dead when we got there, but that didn’t matter. We were all lit and didn’t give a fuck who was there. Harvey ran into some girl that he knew and she was there with 6 or 7 of her friends. We all sat down with them and started bullshitting. Joe showed up and everyone started swirling around me. One of the girls wanted me to leave with them to go to another bar, but I was too fucked up to stand so I just grunted something and told her I might meet them there. All my boys were fuckin drunk out of their minds and that ment they wanted to mix on the dance floor. Some bitch came up to me on some high school shit saying, “my friend thinks your hot.” I just fucking laughed at her and said, “NO FUCKING SHIT?!” By now it was about 1 and we all had to be at drill at 6:30 so we decided to wrap it up. Just as everyone was finishing their last beer, a fight broke out on the dance floor. There was blood everywhere and the bouncers were dragging kids outside. The whole bar filed out and the fight kept on going outside. There were bodies getting tossed all over the place and then the cops started to show up. There were about 14 squad cars and they started macing the kids that were fighting. We took that as our sign to leave. Instead of just going home, we decided that Denny’s needed to be hit up so we rolled out there and proceeded to fuck with the waitress. We finally made it home at about 3:30 and had to be up in 2 hours. The next day I was drunk till about noon


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