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Floating Beer Pong

Written by Kid Bacardi

          As the days pass, I am getting closer to my mind fucked night with Absinthe. There is no telling what will happen. If you too want to dance with the green fairy, click here and order your own bottle today. Our drunk story contest is still rollin’, and it seems as though none of you Passed the Fuck Out party. Prove me wrong and hook it up with some of your craziest stories for a chance to win a Free Drunk Fest shirt. On another note, have you ever wanted a shirt that said “I Eat More Pussy Than Cervical Cancer”? Well now you can get it. Check out that foul shirt and many more here.
          After waking up Friday drunk as shit, and working half the day wasted, I got off work at 3:30 and headed straight to the bar. Brian, Carrot, Danny, Brad, and a bunch of other people were already up there. I was planning on taking it slow since it was early in the afternoon and we had a long night ahead of us, but you know how that goes. Jack was on special, so I buddied up next to him and started drinking. A bunch of our boys were coming down for the weekend and slowly started filtering in. We all started clowning on Carrot because his girlfriend is a fucking dumb slut. The weekend before she made out with too of the guys in our fraternity and is reported to have fucked one of them. We all got a good laugh at that, and then brought it back up every 15 minutes. Around 8 we were all slightly blazed and headed over to Scalla’s place for his birthday keg. In no time I was completely drunk, and beer after beer I just kept pouring it on. After a while, Danny and I headed to some broads apartment to hang out for a while. We both jumped in Casey’s car drunk as fuck and neither of us have a license. Oh well fuck it, roll those fuckin dice. We made it to her place okay, but her shit was fuckin gay so we stuck around for about 20 minutes and then head to Pinch. It was fuckin packed there and I was fuckin destroyed. Don’t really remember much from the bar and I’m have no idea who we were hanging out with. After the bar, bumps got involved and the next thing I knew it was 10:30 and people were ready to go to the spillway. We didn’t actually leave till about 1 and I had been up for about 30 hours or so. We grabbed some beer on the way out, and Miller was actually there. We started boozing right away, and were soon back where we had all been the night before. A few of our other boys showed up and brought a floating beer pong table. This thing was the shit so Brian and I got to work beating people. We played for a while, until some fucking dog swam between the two boards, breaking the device that they had rigged to hold the two parts of the table together. Soon after we finished playing, a bunch of guys had finished inflating a kiddie pool that they planned on floating around in. They all piled in and we proceed to toss empty beers filled with water at them. Crissy got tagged in the thumb and whined about it for the rest of the day. Once the beer ran out we bolted for some food. We ended up at 17th Street and pounded some BBQ. I finally got home around 6 and had been up for 36 hours straight, I decided to take a power nap to so I could function at the bar and grabbed two hours of sleep. When I woke up I headed back out to the bar and found out that I was the first one there. Simon, Tomas, and Keith showed up and we started pounding Green Dragons. The night went by slowly and kind of low key, so we just sat back and kept getting wasted. For some reason, my night ended in a snow storm and I was once again up until 10:00. So I decided that it was time for me to get some goddamn sleep.

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