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How You Gonna Rock It Like That?

Written by Kid Bacardi

          As I was fuckin around wasting time the other day, I came across a site with some hot ass webcam girls on it. These bitches are on some raw ass shit, so check them out today. Speaking of hotties, check out Adriana, and add her to the spank bank. I just got my “I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS”, this may not sound like my style, but when you see the bitch stipping on the shirt it all comes together. Check out this and other shirts here. Keep on sending us your drunken stories. Although I still feel like an alcoholic, it’s not quite as bad as I thought. Plus if your wow me I’ll send you a free t-shirt. What is there to lose? On another note, I want to remind everyone that summer is almost over so it is time to pull out all the stops. What better way to ease the pain of going to classes again, then by getting fucked in half by a bottle of absinthe? Granted this is only a temperary escape, but for fuck sake it’s worth it.
          Brian and I just got back from a two week road trip out to the East Coast. Our first stop was Gainesville, FL. We arrived at Chuck’s house late Tuesday night. He was chillin with his girlfriend so Brian and I decided that we would break out his booze and get shit faced. The next morning we woke up went to lunch and then headed to the lake to fuck around on Chuck’s wave runners and wake boards. The lake we went to was as warm as bathwater and really wasn’t that refreshing but it was still a good time. Jenna After dicking around for a few hours, we headed back to Chuck’s to get ready to head down to Ft. Lauderdale. It took us till about 10 to get ready to leave, but it was only a 4 hour trip so it was no big thing. About an hour into the trip one of his tires went flat and being as prepared as we are, we had no fucking jack. We called AAA and after an hour and a half, some jack off showed up and said that we needed a special socket to take the rim off and he didn’t have it. We were right outside of Orlando, so we had the dirt bag drive up to Chuck’s sister’s house. When we got there we checked the two deep well sockets that she had and one of them fit. So much for the special socket theory. After his truck was dropped, the driver just took the fuck off, leaving us to change the tire. Now this is no big deal but the AAA dirt bag should have fuckin done it for us. After we put his spare tire on, we rolled out with 3 22’s and a 17. about another 40 miles down the road the tread ripped off of the spare and destroyed the back end of his Navi. We were about 40 miles from the next exit, so we rolled doing 40 mph till we got there to see if there was a truck stop that we could get a new tire. Once we got there, we were told that we were “in God’s country” and there was nothing around. It was 30 miles east to the nearest place but we needed to go south so we opted for the 40 more miles south to the next service center. Once we got there, they didn’t have any 17 inch tires, so we had to call AAA again and get towed to the next town. We got to the Wal-Mart there about 20 minutes before the tire center opened, but once they did we found out that they didn’t have a tire either. We finally found a tire at a Firestone and were back on the road. We had to pick up Chuck’s friend Bret at the airport at 10:30 and had just enough time to get there. After picking up Bret, we headed to the Westin and checked into our rooms and got our passes to for the porn convention. After organizing our bar in Chuck’s suite, we headed out to get lunch and pick up some more booze. By the time all of that was done I was ready to get destroyed. Bret, Chuck, and I decided to walk around and booze. There was talent everywhere and were were just feelin the place out. By the time we got ready to go out I was already fuckin bent. We met up with our host and went to the Solid Gold strip club for open bar. Brian and I bellied up to the bar and were ordering Kettle One and Red Bull four at a time. After about 4 or 5 rounds I got cut off and soon after we headed back to the hotel and went to the GFY party. At some point in time Brian and I ran into a group of guys that we thought were talking shit so we started talking shit back The next thing I know, we were going outside somehow, nothing went down and we just rolled out. After a few more drinks, I see Brian talking to these guys again so I go over there and start back in too. Turns out Brian was trying to smooth everything over but I was way too fucked up to understand that. He sent me away so I decided to go mix another drink. I got to the room and that was it, I passed the fuck out. The next day we ran into those guys again and it was all good. Turns out the guy I was trying to fight was Jenna Jameson’s husband. HOW FUCKED UP IS THAT? After walking through the convention hall and grabbing a bunch of free shit we decided that it was time to start drinking. We went out side and found the CC Bill booth and started drinking off of their keg. The next thing we know, we had taken over their booth and were just bulllshitting with whoever walked by. We started talking to some girl that was talent and found out that she was gonna be in the bikini contest. She was chill so we hung out with her for most of the aftenoon. After a while the bikini contest started and we just chilled in the pool and watched the contest. Once that was over we headed back up to the rooms and I decided that I needed to take a nap before going out that night.

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