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That Guy Again?

Written by Kid Bacardi

          As I was fuckin around wasting time the other day, I came across a site with some hot ass webcam girls on it. These bitches are on some raw ass shit, so check them out today. Speaking of hotties, check out Adriana, and add her to the spank bank. I just got my “I SUPPORT SINGLE MOMS”, this may not sound like my style, but when you see the bitch stripping on the shirt it all comes together. Check out this and other shirts here. Keep on sending us your drunken stories. Although I still feel like an alcoholic, it’s not quite as bad as I thought. Plus if your wow me I’ll send you a free t-shirt. What is there to lose? If you haven’t tried absinthe yet, you’re missing out. Order a bottle and get fucked in half. Granted this is only a temporary escape, but for fuck sake it’s worth it.
          After an afternoon of boozing poolside and watching bitches parade around in bikinis, we needed to get ready to go to the pajama party at Club Deep. We really didn’t have shit to wear so we decided to rock the bathrobes from the hotel. After a few more drinks, we headed down to the lobby to catch the bus to Miami. The ride was long as fuck and some dyke kept talking to us about what she does for a living, like we gave a fuck. I was half cocked and her voice was really starting to get under my skin. We got to the club right before I had enough of listening to her. As we got off the bus, we saw the long ass line of people waiting to get into the club. It’s On Just as we were all saying “FUCK”, some guy with a camera wanted to take a picture of us. After the picture, we were ushered to the front of the line and immediately let in. The club was kinda small, but they had a badass dance floor that was made out of glass with fish swimming under it. We mixed in the main club for a while and then went back into the VIP room. They had food and shit back there and another DJ, so we hit the open bar and got back to work. Brian and I were double fisting vodka redbulls again and just walking around taking in the sites. There were bitches all over the place in lingerie and other skimpy ass shit. We started talking to this girl and then her boyfriend showed up. He was wasted and didn’t pick up on the fact that Brian and I were trying to get her to ditch him and come back to the hotel with us. We took turns taking him to the bar to “buy” him drinks to keep him away from her and get him more trashed. Everything was falling into place, she was down to roll out with us and he had no idea what was going on. The plan backfired when he decided that he couldn’t hold his booze and needed her to take him home. Oh well, I guess not everyone can hang. The party began to wrap up so we headed outside to jump back on the bus. I quickly passed the fuck out. The dyke that was talking our fucking ears off on the way to the party, was back at it on the way home. She was bitching at Chuck, telling him that he needed more diversity in his life and should move to California. Then she decided to bitch that if he wasn’t a white male he would be making the money that he was. I snapped out of my sleep, jumped up and yelled, “SHUT THE FUCK UP!”, and then passed out again. I don’t remember anything else from the night, but I woke up the next morning still sporting the bathrobe. Once we all got up, Brian, Bret and I headed down to the pool. We ran into our host and sat down with him. He told us that we were on his tab. We ordered food and drinks and just sat around bullshitting with him and his friends. Every 20 minutes or so, the waiter would come around with a tray full of shots. After a good 3 or 4 hours of this, we were fucking tanked. Brian went back up to the room and Bret and I walked around for a while and talk to some other people. We met two redheads that were twins and talked to them for a while. They were nothing special, but they had good bodies and for fuck sake, they were twins. After chilling with them for a while we stumbled back up to our room to mix some drinks and chill on the balcony. There was a party that night at the Pink TV Studio with live sex shows, so we decided to check that out. We got on the bus to head to the party and started talking to some guys who had booths at the convention. They were cool as fuck and we walk right in with them. This place was fucking packed and everyone was trying to get a good view of the sex. It was the worst party I’ve ever been to. We stayed there until the bus came back and got the fuck out. When we got back to the hotel and made drinks. We met up with one of our sponsors who had a poker room set up with a bar. I headed directly behind the bar and fill a glass with straight Jack. Everything turned into snap shots from there. I was pounding a bottle of wine. Cussed out one of the guys that works for our sponsor. Passed out by the pool. Woke up in my room and went back to the pool. Tossed some naked bitch around in the pool. Went back up to the room. Lost wallet. Went back to the pool to look for my wallet. Went back up to my room. Tossed everything in my room all over the place looking for my wallet. Passed out again. Woke up and looked for wallet. Passed out again. So on and so forth. I woke up the next morning and my wallet had been sitting in the bathroom the whole time. After that, we packed everything up and rolled back up to Gainesville.

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