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Written by Kid Bacardi

          I know everyone has been all concerned with the Hurricane Katrina situation. Well I found the sweetest T-shirt yet, Gulf Coast Looters. I know that some people are going to think that that is fucked up, but, well it is. Check them out here and support the cause. If the hurricane really has you down, get a lift with a bottle of absinthe. This shit is so potent that you wont even remember your own name, let alone the name of some storm. Order your bottle today and drown yourself in booze.
Kick Ass Shirt           School is back in full swing and I have been making the best of it. The last three weeks have been a constant party with multiple nights of chaos and multiple mornings wondering how the fuck I got home. The first weekend back was full of house parties and fighting crowds of freshman that have no party courtesy. Simon managed to get some good ass pain killers so we decided to see how numb we could get. I quickly found out that one side effect was cotton mouth and this made me drink beer like it was water. Now, I don’t know the details but heavy boozing and heavy pain killers aren’t always the best combination. After consuming high doses of each, I was soon out of control with no recollection of what the fuck I was doing. The weekend continued on in this manner and carried me right through the first week of school and only caused me to miss 3 classes. Beside the heavy drinking and drug use, Paul and I were twisting up Marley J’s and went through a few ounces in no time. The second weekend brought another round of parties from Wednesday night through Saturday night. The problem with this was the freshmen just couldn’t hang. By Saturday night most of the kids were partied out but the usual crowd was still in full swing and making up for the slow summer. This kept everything interesting, although the details are too blurry to make sense of what was going on. Things were about the same the second week of school, and by Thursday we decided that we were going to throw a huge bash since a lot of people were heading home for the holiday weekend. Don’t ask me why, they all just got back. A g-note later and we had a few kegs and a full bar set up at Hufford’s place. As usual, I showed up about 15 minutes after the booze arrived and even though the party wasn’t kicking off till 10 or so, I got to fuckin work. A few beers in and I decided that I was gonna start drinking booze and white Russians seemed to be the way to go. I had Dylan pour me a stiff one and I went out back to chill until more people started to show up. There were about 10 or 15 of us there now and pot started being passed around. Once the smoke session was over, we headed in to take Jager Bombs. While we had been out back the house started to fill up, so I had to push my way to the bar to get the shots. This was fine for the first trip of the night, but it was only getting more and more packed, so I decided to go to the side of the bar so I could make my own drinks at will. A few shots later I discovered that they had a bottle of black cherry Effin, so I grabbed that bottle and the 7up so I could mix a new drink. I then grabbed a huge bottle of wine and decided that the girls at the party needed to get as fucked up as I was. I started walking up to random girls and making them pound the wine out of the bottle. The next thing I knew, I had a line started and was just passing the bottle around the room. This soon got fucking gay because all the girls were screaming for the bottle so I dipped out front to see what was going on. There were a few older people that I knew outside, so I chilled out there and bullshitted with them for a while. Keith came out with a few shots of tequila so we kicked them back and headed back inside for more booze. The line to get to the bar was ridiculous by now and I was literally push people that I didn’t know out of my way. When I finally got to the bar I grabbed another Effen and a hand full of Jager Bombs so I didn’t have to fight the crowd for a while. I floated around for a while and then found myself back outside. There were more people out there now due to the inside being so packed and really starting to heat the fuck up. It started to get a bit to crowded in the front and the cops started driving by. We sent everyone out back and not two minutes later the cops were at the door. Non of the guys that lived there were 21 so I decided that I should go talk to the cops. Due to my track record with authority figures, Dylan quickly joined me, but not before I told them that we are just trying to have a good time and that they were fuckin up my buzz. Dylan took over talking and got them to leave after telling them that he lived there and that we were checking IDs. This worked because he had been slapping wrist bands on people and had some in his pocket. Shortly after that I blacked out completely. The next morning I woke up naked on my couch and had no idea how I had gotten there. Luckily I woke up 15 minutes before I had to go to work and headed out.


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