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GOYK - Drunk and Disorderly - College Slackers - Another Site - Ebaums World

Togas and Trips


Written by Kid Bacardi

          First off I want to let everyone know that I have made the New York Times.
You can check the article out here. I found my new favorite t-shirt today. It says “If this is on your floor tomorrow…we totally fucked”. Anyone that needs a good way to get fucking destroyed check out a bottle of absinthe.
          The mix started early and strong on Wednesday night. Brian’s birthday was on Monday and he decided that Wednesday would be Brianfest. He rented out GII and decided that the party would be mandatory togas. The bar was supposed to be ready for us at 7, but they fucked up and didn’t have it ready till 9. Brian and I got up there at about 6:30, just incase everyone hadn’t heard of the time change. I started drinking So Co 100 and was soon feeling warm. I was rocking one pimp ass toga, made out of Phat Farm fabric (damn that’s gangsta). By the time the party started I was mostly wasted. Toga I staggered upstairs, grabbed a pitcher, and started mixing. People started showing up and everyone was just pounding beer. After a while, the So Co caught up with me and I started to do a nice four step. After finishing about half of my second pitcher, I decided that I needed some food. I stumbled out of the bar, to Don Taco to grab some food. After eating, I decided to pack it up and go home for the night.
          Thursday was pretty much standard. We pre-drank at our party house, playing flippy cup and beer pong. After everyone got drunk we started relocating to the bar. It was dead when we first got there, but it was also 11:00 so we sat at the bar and bullshitted with the bartenders. I had been drinking Micky’s and then switched to whiskey at the bar and started to get fucked up. By 12:30 the place was packed and I was fucking drunk. I had shaved my head earlier that night and was starting to tell people that I shaved my head to support my mom getting cancer. They all thought it was “sweet” but I was just fucking around (my mom doesn’t have cancer). That didn’t go over as well as I had hoped, but I got a kick out of it. As the night wasted away, I got bored of the bar and since I had to work in the morning I decided to head home.
          Friday was altogether out of control. On my way home from work I decided to see if I could track down a trip. I made a few calls, gathered a crew and found a hook up. When I got to the house I started drinking and playing NBA Jam. People started showing up to drink and we started watching the baseball game. Around 8:30 I met up with my guy and grabbed what I needed. There were 6 of us so we all dropped around 9. I decided that I needed to jump in the shower and made an executive decision that I was going to the bar tripping my balls off. After the shower I got back to drinking. One of my boys had picked up some Blue Moon Pumpkin Brew so I hooked one up (it was okay). There wasn’t shit going on yet so we started watching some shit on the history channel about Pablo Escobar. After a while we decided to smoke a blunt to help stimulate the trip and by the time we got back upstairs, there was some shit on about “finding Nessy”. Half way through the show we all started laughing uncontrollably and we knew it was on. At one point in time I decide that I was going to find the fattest girl in the bar that night and call her Nessy to her face. Trippin’ More and more people started showing up and there was a whole different party going on upstairs. I ventured up to see what was going on and found a shit ton of people drinking their asses off. Around 11, some of my boys thought that they needed another, but I knew why better than that, we hadn’t even begun yet. I told them that I would go get more and three of us took off. Once we got to where we needed to be, my guy had just left. Since they weren’t for me, I said fuck it and we headed to Ryan’s house. Nobody was there, so the first thing I said to Ryan was, “what are we working with here.” I opened the refrigerator and found 1 beer and a shit ton of condiments. Now this just wasn’t going to do. We had 1 beer between 3 people and definitely not ready to walk the 5 blocks back to the house. We ended up finding a bottle of Gordon’s vodka and started taking shots my other boy asked if the vodka made us feel “real”, and Ryan told him that “puking makes you feel real…so chug it and puke.” We all took a few shots and then headed back out. The drunk people wondering around the streets were cracking us up. Most likely they weren’t doing anything that I don’t do on a normal night, but the perspective changed everything. When we got back to the house we all grabbed all the beer we could to take over to my place for later. I had put the bottle of Gordon’s up my sleeve on the walk and forgotten about it. I was standing in the living room when I remembered and dropped it out of my sleeve into my hand. Nobody was expecting that and looks of amazement washed over everyone’s faces. I met back up with Ryan and Rich at my house and then headed to the bar. We stayed in a pack so we didn’t get ourselves into too much shit. I started pounding whiskey and just walking around the bar talking to people and laughing at others. Everything seemed barbaric. Everyone was running around trying to hook up and getting pissed off at other people because of who they were talking to. I just sat back and watched the show, throwing out “off” statements here and there. Once the bar closed, we headed back up to the house to keep drinking. After a while we migrated to my place to take advantage of all the booze that we had over there. We hit some slopes and watched movie to help us down, and around 6:30 I finally passed out, concluding the best Friday of last week.
          I rejoined the world at about 6:00 the next afternoon and decided that I had already waste too much time. I went over to the house to watch football and start drinking. Nobody was really doing anything so I just sat around and drank. People started showing up around 10 and we didn’t go to the bar till 12. The bar was dead too. We had after hours once the bar closed and that was kind of dead too. I guess everyone partied too hard on Friday. Around 3 I decided to chuck James’s old TV out the front door onto the sidewalk. After that excitement I decided to call it a night and go the fuck home.


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