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It's My Birthday

Written by Kid Bacardi

          So its been forever since I’ve had time to update but my birthday was a while back and here is how it went down. My weekend started on Monday with me and James heading up to the bar for some drinks. It was our birthday at midnight so a bunch of people came up and bought us shots and chilled. This slow start quickly got out of hand and by 11:00 I was wasted and told the bartender that I needed to close my tab before I blacked out. I guess I stuck around for a while after that and kept on taking shots. No Pants in the Bar At one point James and I took a shot and I grabbed his shoulder to stop myself from falling down causing us both to crash. Everyone grabbed me and pull me to my feet while leaving James to roll around on the floor. As midnight approached I was standing at the bar with my pants around my ankles finishing off whatever I was drinking. We just made it to midnight to see the start of our birthday and then stumbled home to pass out.
          I somehow woke up at 10 still drunk and decided that since it was my birthday I was gonna make the best of it. I had an 11:00 so I decided to go and tell the teacher that I was drunk and wouldn’t be attending her 3:00 class. This went over well and I was back to the house by 11:30. This is when things slowed down. Since all my friends had classes that they were gonna go to and James was acting like a hung over sorority girl, I was stuck with no drinking partners. John, Scala, and I decided that the best thing to do would be blasting beer bottles with a be be gun for a good part of the afternoon. Simon finally manned up around 4 and we headed to the bar to find a bunch of people that we know already under way. Four steps into the bar I was handed a Jager Bomb and it was on. Paul showed up soon after we go there and the day was really headed in the right direction. After a few pitchers we decided to head over to our guys place and ended up twisting a fat blunt. After we were all fully baked Paul and I headed back to our place. He chilled for a while, but I went right back to the bar. Some people were still there, but being only 6:30, the crowd wasn’t that deep. I pulled up a seat at the bar and the Jager Bombs started coming. Every time I turned around there was another one in front of me. A few of us headed up to my place to for some rails and the night was really turning for the better. We got back to the bar around 8 and kept at it. More people started showing up and I was definitely fucked up. From there things started to get blurry. After a few more drinks I told the bartender that I only had $15 to pay my tab and she told me that I didn’t have a tab for the night. This just forced me to drink more and after a few more shots we headed back up to my place. When we got back to the bar there were finally people there. I was fucking shit rocked and everyone wanted to buy me drinks. I had about 7 in front of me and started kicking them back. The last one was So Co 100 and it almost made me puke. I had to chill for a second after that, so I grabbed a whiskey and coke and sat at the bar. Some girls that I know showed up and they decided that they wanted to buy me tequila shots. I told them that the only way that I would drink tequila was if I could do body shots off of them. I set up the hottest one first and as I was about to do the shot I decided to just pound all three and be done with them. I turned around and walked away leaving her with salt all over her and a lime in her mouth. I don’t really remember much after that. Once the bar closed, we headed back to my place to finish off the snow storm and at some point in time I passed out.
          I woke up the next day at 5 and felt like I had been in a train wreck. I went next door to chill for a while and found myself drinking again. A bunch of people started showing up at the house and by 11 we were all fucked up and headed to the bar. My boy Frank had missed my birthday so he opened his tab up for me and I got fuckin lit. It was mostly dead at the bar and we just played pool and darts. After the bar closed we all got stoned and went to Denny’s.
          Thursday the power got shut off at the house so we decided that it was a free day. We all sat around in the cold ass hours and played cards for the first part of the day. Around 2 we headed up to the attic to smoke a joint. We sat up there with a candle for light and ended up smoking 3. Once we were good and high we decided to drop a lighter in the fire and see what it would do. It ended up turning into a fucking fire ball. After a while we started setting up for a party at Huff’s place and had the keg there by 8. We started playing flippy cup right away and by the time the girls showed up the first keg was gone and we were kinda drunk. I started playing beer pong and started getting rolled. As the second keg was starting to dry up, we all headed to the bar. By the time we got there I had blacked out and don’t remember anything about the rest of the night. I woke up the next morning with some girl passed out on my couch. I woke her up as I walk out the door to go to work. I didn’t do shit all day at work and ended up leaving early to start drinking. We hung out at the house all afternoon drinking. Since we weren’t having a party that night we ended up at the bar by 9. It seemed like a dead night until about 12. People finally started showing up and everyone was getting destroyed. When the bar closed I went to pay my tab, which ended up being $3.50 for the 5 hours I had been there. We decided to grab some white after the bar closed and headed to an after hours party. We kinda took over the party and just started getting even more fucked up. Around 3:30 we took Rich’s girlfriend home and then headed to another party. This one was winding down, so we went back to my place and chilled till 6 or so.
          I woke up on Saturday at 3:45 and had to go to a sorority formal. The keg was at the pre-party by 4:30 and I was back to drinking. My date showed up with a pint of Jack for me and it was on. No Pants in the Bar I had some snow from the night before as a pick me up and I was ready to go again. We drank there for a few hours and had a smoke session or two. After a while we headed to the sorority house to catch the bus. While we were standing around waiting for the buses, they started setting out rules for the night. I wasn’t really paying attention to what they were saying and then I heard, “And no Cocaine Buffet”. I looked up and the girl that was talking was looking right at me. I fired back, “I wouldn’t even think of bring coke to your formal” as I felt for the bag in my pocket. We finally got in the bus and I finished off my pint of Jack. I blacked out soon after that, but remember getting cut off at the bar after 2 drinks. At one point in time I was sitting at a table with Brad passed out, John and Tony drinking, and I had my nose shoved into a plastic bag. On the way back to the sorority house, I had lost my date and was with Tony. The bus driver was a white trash ass bitch that looked like Mrs. Crabtree. Tony and I decided that we needed to give her hell. The whole way home we were yelling shit at her. I didn’t think it was necessary, but we kept it up. Once we got to the sorority house, my goal was to get to the bar. All the girls were starting to crash so I found my date and told her I was out. Everyone who was at the bar was wrecked and we all just kept drinking till close. After the bar we went back to the house to smoke. Half way through the session, Carrot stumbles in, pukes on the floor, pisses on James’ door, and passed out. Everyone started heading home, so I did the same and called it a night.

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