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Mind Probed

Written by Kid Bacardi

Yeah         I know its been a while, but due to the carelessness of my drunken Fraternity members…not as if I could have done the same thing…my computer has been drenched in beer and no longer works. More on that later, but for now lets flash back to the weekend of November 12th. Our buddy Prez called us up a few weeks prior and filled us in on the fact that his Fraternity, at Miami of Ohio, was throwing an “Around the World” party. You may ask what that means, well at least I did. They got $2500 worth of booze and let the chaos begin. With that information in hand we decided that it was off to Ohio. Me, Paul, and Peters jumped in the Pimpscort and headed out with a yahoo map. The map fuckin sucked and was basically useless after Indianapolis. So we found ourselves on some country ass back roads only knowing that we had to go South East. After some time of amiless driving we stopped at the most backassward gas station in the America. This town sucked so much ass that the gas station was also the grocery store and the shoe store, carrying a fine stock of K-Airs. Suprisingly one of the attendents was hot, but the other was a fuckin cow. The hot girl was about useless to our adventer and the cow gave us directions like we knew the area. So with shitty ass directions we headed out in the general direction of what she had told us. After another 30 to 45 minutes of driving we decided that we need to stop again and another 20 minutes later we finally found a town that had a gas station in it. We were neck deep in ass rape country. So we stop at this next palce and get directions there. These were alittle better and we thought we were set. On the way out of the gas station these girls started hollering at us. I guess they had never seen a guy in a button up before. We dipped out and after about 5 minutes of driving we realized that these directions sucked ass too. So we kept on rollin and out of nowhere we came across a sign pointing us to Oxford (the town we were looking for).
         When we finally arrived at the Prez’s house they had already finished a keg race (with 20 man teams, weak). They were kinda fucked up and having a smoke session so we jumped in. After that beer was a priority, so head up to the strip to grab some beer. With that problem addressed we head back to the house to start boozin. We played a little pool and then busted out the Beer Pong table. After few games we were getting wasted. Me and Peters were beating these two kids ass and we decided that if we won we got to drink their beer because it wasn’t fair that we won and they got to drink. After that game it was off the the bar. On the way down the strip Prez ran into some girl that he knew. She had a white shirt on and everyone was writing on it. Peters asked if he could write on her skin and she was so drunk that she agreed. He proceeded to write, “I FUCKED PETERS” on her chest. We then took a picture and rolled out. We finally got to the bar and the first thing on the menu was a drink called the Mind Probe. This drink has 8 shots in it and tastes like cool-aid. Lets just say it takes about 4 to completely floor you. The bar was packed and I was wasted so I just started wondering around and talking to girls. I got invited to some other Fraternities afterhours but really was in no shape to have much of an inteligent conversation with anyone. When the bar closed we head to some other bar that stays open later but that was gay so me and Peters took off. We head down the strip to get more beer and some asshole walked right into me. I stood my ground and asked him what the fuck his problem was. He told me I bumped into his girl or some shit and he thought he was gonna get big. I told him he could take all he wanted of me and Peters slapped his boy in the face and told them they better roll out before they bit off more then they could chew. These bitches must not have been used to confrontation and so they apoligized and walked away. Turns out they were in the Fraternity that was throwing the afterhours that we had gotten invited to, oh well, fuck em. We finally got more beer and head back to Prez’s house to booze but everyone was passing out. We had a few and decided that we might as well do the same.
Yeah          The next morning I woke up early as fuck and wanted to start drinking. Everyone was still passed out and when I found Paul he was passed out in a POOL of his own vomit. I started waking people up and then we decided to go get some food. We headed over to this bagle place that had the craziest shit ever. I got a bagle called the Donkey Punch. It wasn’t that good but the name sold me. After the bagles we headed to the head shop because I needed a piece. Peters has the worst head shop edicit ever and was talking about pot and bongs and all the shit. The hippy that was working was getting kinda pissed so I pick a piece and we left. When we got back to Prez’s house we had to break it in so we sparked up and got blazed. The rest of the day we just chilled and drank alittle. The “Around the World” party was than night so we were moderating. When we finally headed to the party it was on. They had 14 different rooms(two bedroom apartments)set up with a different drink or shot in each room. In the basement they had a ice block with about 20 different bottles of booze to take shots out of. All in all a good mix. The amount of pussy was crazy, 90% of the girls had bad ass bodies and 75% of them were hot as fuck. It was definitally a target rich environment. I started in on sampleing from each room. After about 6 or 7 rooms I was wasted. Everything began to swirl around me and I knew it was gonna be one of those nights. By the time the party was winding down and we were heading to the bar I had no idea what I drank or how much. All I knew is that talking to girls was far removed from my game plan. I had one goal in mind. I needed a Water Tower, 10 shots in one drink, similar to a Mind Probe but better. My and Peters started wondering around some bar getting farther and farther from reality when we bumped into Rich from GII. He was there to initiate his Fraternities pledges but I don’t really know if I talked to him for very long. That was about the last thing I rememeber. I guess after the bar we went to smoke and I was hitting on some girls but I ended up passed out in Prez’s bed which is were I woke up the next day.
         Due to the time that had gone by that is all that I know. Due to the amount of booze that I consumed, that is about all I probably ever know. All in all the “Around the World” party was kick ass. Once again Miami Ohio showed me a hell of a time, even if they can ‘t party as hard as we do, but lets face it, who really can.

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