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Meatheads


Written by Kid Bacardi

Meatheads           This past weekend was full of boozin’ and dealing with dumb fucks. We kicked off the weekend on Wednesday with a wicked mix of “Summer Brew”. This consists of a 30 pack, a handle of vodka, and two cans for frozen pink lemonade concentrate. Although this sounds like it would taste like shit, it is actually great and only has a minor taste of beer. This can quickly cause problems because it goes down like water and then kicks you in the nuts after about 4 glasses. Anyway, we started drinking that shit at Nathan and Simon’s around 6. We started playing bags and by 7 I was shitfaceded. Getting’ Drunk By 8:30 I guess I blacked out and completely lost all motor skills except for being able to drink. My boys went to the bar at about 10 just as I was passing out. I woke up Thursday at 7 wondering what the fuck had happened, still drunk, and having to go to work.
          After work Thursday, we hit up the Sunset Concert and got to work early. After a few hours of drinking in the sun, everyone was starting to get kinda lit. The concert was ending, so we walked back to the house and found a party already under way. We decided to kick it there for a while instead of going right to the bar. I started getting wild and throwing empty bottles into the street right in front of traffic. I don’t think people were happy with me, but fuck them, I was having a great time. After all the beer was gone, we decided to head to Pinch. I don’t really remember too much about the bar, but then we were back at my house for after hours. I’m not really sure where the night went, but Rich left my place at 6:30 and I had to be to work at 7 and I had forgotten to sleep.           Friday, after a hellish day at work, I decided that I was just going to go for the gusto and stay up untill after the bar. A bunch of girls came down for the weekend so we decided to drink at the house before the bar. We started playing drinking games and arguing about what the “rules” were. Roid Rage I finally decided that it didn’t matter what rules we used as long as we were gonna be drinking. We pounded a couple cases and then decided to go to Pinch around midnight. The bar was packed and some shitty band was playing. I was too fucked up to figure out what they were playing so I just kind of wandered around talking to people I know. Some roid rage asshole bumped into me and spilt some of my drink. I yell at him “excuse you” and he got in my face. I started laughing at him for being a meathead and then a bouncer came a grabbed him. Later that night I was sitting at a table with the girls and this asshole started in again. Peters grabbed one of our buddies that is on the football team and all of a sudden nobody wanted to fight. The bar was about to close by now and Peters wandered off. I was with Big Game and as we were leaving this fuck meathead starts in again. I’m not gonna lie, he would have fucked me up, but Big Game was having none of that. The bouncers finally grabbed his ass again and I walked home too drunk to work my phone to call a cab. I woke up the next moring on the floor in the formal room.


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